Fidi Starlight

2011-12-19T21:21:00.003+08:00

His gone to Bandung with his family 6 hours ago. Damn demoralizing. Oh wait before continuing, i hope you guys don't mind me posting about him. This is my blog, my say, my feelings. I still love him to be truthful. I still do care for him. I know he did stupid things before and you guys are wondering why i'm still going on with him. We all have feelings right? Well, doesn't everybody wanna fall in love? I know he made a HUGE mistake in a relationship. My heart shatters into million of pieces even now i'm trying to overcome this problem but please, give me time to set myself at ease and make my decision. He did cheated on me behind my back. I even found out from his ex. Okay fine. It was truly hard to get over the pain as it was extremely hurtful to see him do this to me when i sincerely love him from the bottom of my heart.

Not only once but thrice. I love him so much. I am very sure what is the feeling of loving that someone deeply. Its hard to let go. Even though i did made a decision to go for a few times but he refused, he weeped, he begged, he called me more than tons of times when i didn't pick his call up. I was crying infront of my sister, alone in the room, wondering, why must he do this to me when i really love him so much? Is my love for him not enough? It was such a hearbreaking day.

It took a few days for me to overcome this challenge. He begged me for another chance, a very last chance. Though i gave him the very last chance, it is still hard for me to trust him back. What if he do the same thing again? Well, i'll just have to say SAYONARA. I'm not being harsh or something. I just don't like to be stepped. I just want to be loved SINCERELY.

Okay wth, i shall not elaborate more on the heartbreak part. I shall open a topic about.. I miss him already. Well apparently, i went airport just now to send him and his family off. To be frank, Im seriously scared and shy. I was shivering and smiling like nobody's business. Then i saw him. I smiled but at the same time, i was extremely dejected because he is going Bandung for 5 freaking days. Oh then then, of course, its my first time seeing his family ^^ *hi hello. LOL

Saddening, me and him didnt really have ample convo together. Yea, i think i know the reason why. No last hug :'( from him. Well, at least i get to hug his siblings. Gahhh :'( Please 5 days. Past fast pleaseeeeee. I need to feel his presence. All i can sense is his smell lingering around me. I put two pictures of him under my pillow so that whenever i miss him, i can take a look at his pictures. His specs beside my pillow and i will smell and clean it every single day. I may sound psycho but no, im not. This is called MISS, RINDU okay. I can even barely breathe without his text/call. Its very boring at home but thanks, my friends is accompanying me. I wonder what is he doing there? Shopping? Eating? AT the hotel? We are miles and miles away but it feels like you are just beside me, hugging me, kissing me. Wishing that you would text/call me. Every morning you will always text me "Good morning bby" .. I know its just 5 days but its long and it hurts of not receiving his text/call. Something is missing. I miss him a lot :'((

Currently hearing A THOUSAND YEARS :'(

2011-12-11T10:47:00.002+08:00

Its been 4 months plus since i last updated my final post. Its December and its a rainy season :( barely hard to go for a picnic.

Anyways, i recently resigned because i realised that the work is just not me, im not suited to work in that kind of environment. Awkward. Now, im jobless and i know myself that i need a time out because of my health condition.

The saddest thing is knowing that, its hard for me to gain weight even though i ate a lot BUT its superbly easy for me to lose weight. Doctor says im a critical condition because i might even lose weight more. Demoralised.

OHWELL, next month will be taking results, praying hard.

2011-08-02T20:06:00.004+08:00

Its been a while since i last posted :) Well, sorry dudes or babes that has been reading my blog but saddening, its dying. I will try my best to relight back my blog by finding sufficient time. You know, secondary 5 is the most crucial year and guess what? We got exactly less than 3 months before we sit for our killing exam, O's . Shoot. I feel like i have no hope for SS but a little hope for Geography. I used to score A1 for SS 3 years back but now i flunk so badly,F9! HORRIBLE results ever please. The worst ever.

I should feel the heat by now. My O'level Malay results will be next week? I guess so or maybe mid of August. I just hope i pass. I am not dying for distinction because i knew my weaknesses for Malay but at least a B4 will satisfy myself. Yes yes, B4, so what? Its still a pass. For all this months, i had been failing my Malay so badly and if i were to get B4 or better for Malay, i am impress with it. *applause. Its a sign of good improvement. The only subject that can help me pull up my grades is definitely DNT. DNT never fails to make me frown. Please be good to me.

Okay, i better shut up talking about my results. Only God knows by now how well or bad i am doing. Booohuhuuu. Horrible. Anw, life's okay :) but im having some emotional problems nowadays. Im often envy, angry, sad, disappointed. Lots to describe but when im with my friends, im happy.

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

2011-04-07T19:38:00.003+08:00

Oh hello blog. Your abandoned by me a lot of times. I guess i am very busy with school things especially homework and test every single week. It can also come up with two tests per day. Cool or what? sheeesh. Im dying in school -.- its killing me. FTW. But i aint gonna give up and just keep trying even if i were to fail now, i will learn from it. This is life. Like hello, im taking O's for goodness sake! and imagine if i were to slack now , my results will be like shit. Well, we still have to take our results next year. I kept thinking about stepping into the school hall and waiting for the results nervously. OHMAN, butterflies in my stomach. I wish my sister will be there like how she was there for my PSLE results.

Its April now and MIDYEAR is next three weeks. Have to do my best for this. Especially English Maths, Malay, Science and DNT but i aint confident about Humans :( im focusing more on the five. If i were to get 25 and below, im happy and have to work more harder. Everyone has an inspiration to go Poly/JC. As for me, poly would be... RP, my choice, insyallah amin

2011-03-11T17:56:00.004+08:00

This is Nur Hanisah J.F =D One of the Dolts and she talk craps all the time. Even though she might be smiling all day long, there is still ups and downs within her. This is LIFE. I know she is a very strong girl full of humor. She teaches me Malay and Love too. She's fun to be with but beware when she got MOOD SWING, JENGJENG! ^^ And yeah, you might be thinking why i am putting HER FACE up there. Its because she has gone to JOHOR BAHRU for her honeymoon. HUH?? honeymoon? what crap am i talking?? LOLX, i meant HOLIDAY. Have a safe journey babe :D Monday we got BBQ hor!

I miss photoshoot a lot, like seriously. Been sooooo busy with school lately :C maybe just gonna have the next photoshoot on June/November. Darn. Khairil is such a great photographer! Hah.

Anyways, NO TUITION today. Its been like 3 lessons we missed :C arrrghhh! i dont want to flunk my EXAMS again i swear . CaONE results was a disaster to me. Traumatised for a while. Aaaarrrrghhhh, okay. Slaps myself. I am presurring. ShitxxxxxD anw, i paramour with someone right now. Chillax, am still knowing him. NO RUSH. Both have dreams to achieve further. HEH. Despite me JUST SAYING, i miss him already, BOOOOOOOOOHUUUHUUU!

Of course, not forgetting, DOLTS, i miss you babes !

2011-02-27T19:37:00.003+08:00

The fireworks are beautiful. Well, how i wish that my life is beautiful like the fireworks. Pointless, life will never be perfect even though you have the wealth and everything because humans makes mistakes even the President do make mistakes. We are not perfect and we make a lot of sins. Like me, i make a lot of sins and i admit that. I did a lot of stupid things which my friends did not know that. But i swear i never take drugs nor smoke and will not.

I am still finding a way on how to be a good person and stop doing all those stupid stuffs. It was such an insolent of me. I hope Allah is guiding me through. I just need to follow a good path and turn over a new leaf. I have been so different ever since the trauma incident which happened last two years. I don't wish to repeat it this year. Please make me strong. My only hope to bring back my humor is my family and friends.

2011-02-18T19:49:00.002+08:00

Hi bloggy, i miss you a lot. Sorry if i have abandoned you for a month. The reason was, IM BUSY with school till i went home at 6pm+, everyday remedial , tuition and cca. But this is what i deserved because why? For O'levels. I might be failing a lot of tests in school but i just tell to myself "Dont give up, I can do it" Keep that spirits HIGH because you needed that most especially when major exams is coming.

Last week, i went to Chingay with a good friend of mine, Lina :) free tix so, why not go right? :D it was worth it but exshausted at the same time. I was excited to see the Malay Culture and HipHop. Took over 100 pictures but decided to upload half of it :) Nyehhehe. Afterall, had fun:)

Okay, im still waiting for pay because i wanna buy for mum something. Like seriously! :') And yeah, im still fine without love for now. Maybe the GOOD guy is somewhere out there.

Tmrw im going out with my great bro to Town. Its been months. HOORAYYY! and i wanna finish by tonight can? So i will have lesser hmwk -.- Homework is trying to STRESS us but just have to bare with it for a few months more. Damn, im planning to study hard on Malay O's which will be around May and expectation will be a B4 /B3 for it. Thats really my expectation. I know i can never aim distinction for it because i know myself better. Just have to keep trying. O'Level is not easy as you think it is. The syllabus is times two the N'Level and the grades is times two the N'Level. I have already set a target for myself and i will reconsider it again after MIDYEAR because that is when i will know my results ofr Mid paper.

Before i end this, i would like to thank friends for reading my blog :)

2011-01-15T08:35:00.004+08:00

Dusty blog, so sad. I have been busy with Sec 5 life nowadays and i might not have the time to update this blog :( This is just the starting of final year life in secondary school. I just cannot wait to get out from there but, someone reminded me... After you get out from the school, the one thing you will miss is your secondary school mates because they are the ones that have been lifting you up for the whole five years journey through thick and thin. I will surely miss my friends. They are half part of my life . Love them.

Besides that, i failed my Malay Comprehension by scoring 2/26. I was despaired when i saw the marks. It was unbelievable but nothing can pull me down. I am still going to study hard to get a B3 for O's . Insyallah, amin. I might not get a distinction for my own language but scoring better is enough for me. I aimed for Shafirah and Hanisah a distinction for O's in their Combined Science. I know and i trust them that they can do it for sure while i just aimed mine a B3, a two jump from C5 to B3. That is lot of hard work to gain.

I am feeling horrified after hearing from the last year's badge about their O's results :( I keep wondering for the future in a year time. But its okay , you babes and dudes should know that you guys tried hard enough for this very major exam. Now its the Sec4e's and Sec5's to strive for O's.

Apart from that, lets just talk about my life . Im coping well but my 2 weeks cough is still with me :( DARN. And i swear i dont entertain people who cheated my feelings :C

2011-01-09T15:31:00.003+08:00

Hehehuhuuhahaa, okay, im bored. Tmrw will be the 2nd week of school. I wanna study really hard, Do all hmwk, go for an exam, get out from Ping Yi and part time job till results.

I was having some depression problems for the first 2 days. It really tears me down but the next day, it turned out well. I cried at home badly, wishing and praying that I hope i can stay strong.
11 months of pain wont last forever. I will be out from Ping Yi soon, holdng onto my tears.

Maths had started on Inequalities. Chem had started on Moles. Malay as per normal and im stressing about DNT. I have to find pictures then i can draw. Pressure but i cannot be so stressing if not, i will think so shallow.

Im not into a new RS yet as im more worried about O's. Like serious shit. Maybe not possible but, for me, it will be possible. Just knowing a guy 'kenal2' itu boleh but in a REAL RS, not yet. Tmrw will be the 2nd week, don't you think time flies? Jyeahh, :)

2010-12-27T18:02:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to Only Girl by Rihanna :) boom! i miss those moments. You know what i wished? I wished I never knew him from the very start. I shouldnt have loved him from the very first beginning. Anw, its gonna be almost a month im forgetting him. Why bother i bring back those stories. Oh lucky that i didnt PROMISE anything. Okay, thats mean of me. Boohoo, thats life. No revenge , nothing. Grown up, why fight when its already OVER? Officially gone, BAMMM!

Anw, school is starting in 7 more days. Its unbelievable to say this but i miss school and friends but about the studying part, i think i forgot everything, shit O.O Heee, ok, i still havent buy school buys. -.- HAHHA, just bought school uniform with pocket, IM HAPPY, you know why? because i can stuff or throw my coins inside the pocket, like primary school days. Other than that. this week will be the final week of holiday! HUHU and i havent find a tutor yet. boohooo.

Okay, tmrw got my pay already, insyallah :) hehe. Then meeting Naddbby at inter and off to Bugis Street to shop shop. Listed all the things. And meeting Fiqqy , a good friend of mine to watch a movie. I hope tmrw, and wednesday will NOT rain, amin! :') and on wed, photoshoot. Photographer: Khairil :) hahhaa , awesomee!

2010-12-24T15:50:00.005+08:00

Heeeyyyoooo dudes and babes. Im waiting for the time to strike 4.30pm. Going out to eat and meet Shakila and her cousin at Somerset. Ive been going central for like IDK how many times i went but i know its a confirm next week will be my last and then focusing on O's, huhuu. Wish me a good luck and wishing the rest good luck too. Its like unbelieveable but u gotto believe me. Im gonna miss Zee, Kila and Efah plus the rest badly :( i almost cried yesterday telling zee that without you guys, i wonder who i can go to and lend a shoulder to cry on. Seeing them every morning at Level 2, I know i always scared them with my long hair , standing at the stairs, gossips here and there. Can you imagine they wont be there , doing the same thing? :'(( its very heavy to leave them but i hope we will keep our ties stronger.

Yesterday, i went out alone to Botanic Garden. I swear that place is beautiful :) will post the picture tmrw alright? Then at 6, waited for Nazirah and Taufiq. So, we went to Far East and took bus 7 home. Crapssss with my friends. Hahhhaaa..

2010-12-22T19:48:00.004+08:00

Finally i have this feeling of blogging. See that number below the music player? It has been reset. Thanks to those who has been visiting and reading my blog :) Somehow, i wont get to update a lot like how i used too because i have been going out almost every single day with my friends, its been fun but my cash flew away easily. Just waiting for my pay this Tuesday. Been wanting to go USS with friends. Okay back, next year, i cannot say that i will not switch on lappy but it will be lesser this time. Focusing on my O'Level next year. ONE MORE YEAR TO GO, *praying*

Sister asked me to set my goals, and i threw away what i have been wanting, Fashion Apparel :( Still having a heavy heart to leave Design but i changed my mind and decide to go Business, any course will do IF i get into Poly (insyallah, amin) im not being too over but this is an inspiration, when you have one, go for it. "Nothing is impossible if you just believe."

I have been going to town for these few days & im happy with it. Still got the swag eventhough im single but i will still shine no matter what :) Life HAS TO MOVE ON. Im not morosed now thinking about my ex infact, im very happy with family and friends around me to cheer me up. Just have to occupy my time with happiness. Im not into RS yet, at this point of time. I had enough of heartbreaks. I do have feelings for him back but, let just make this clear, we both are friends, and i should be thankful to have him who understands other people. He is a nice guy, really. I known him a year? should be but then we lost contact for a few months. We are cool, friends :')

i wished damnn :(

this video is meaningful :)

2010-12-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

Had fun , really fun with close friends Fiqqy, Hanisah and Nazirah. They made my day. Okay, i have to make this short as i have to wake up super duper early tmrw. Damn. Goodbye.

2010-12-18T10:08:00.002+08:00

I'll see my juniors for the final year next year :')

For all this time, i have been dreaming that i keep failing my N'Level, it was a boohuhuuu for me. Alhamdullilah, i made it to Sec 5 next year!! Have to strive next year, really hard. I almost cried yesterday because i thought that i failed my exam. My thoughts were opposite. I passed eventhough with 18 points. Im happy and i appreciate what i get , thank you Allah :)

2010-12-10T10:25:00.002+08:00

OH ME GAWD, hahha, my stomach is grumbling , boohoooo but its sweet of mum to make a sandwich for me , sis and bro. LOL Anw, yesterday was fun, i did have this energy of working, laughing with my friends. No tears. Even if i want to ALMOST cry inside the train, i manage to get over it within 10 seconds.

Ohyeahh, and i found this song very the meaningful. without the 'sex thing'

2010-12-08T10:21:00.003+08:00

Thank you to all friends that really cheered me up. You know what makes me wanna weep more? Is when reading all the motivational posts that my friends gave it to me at facebook. It makes me more sad but then stronger than before because i know they cared. Somehow, i am still depressed about what happend yesterday night. I didnt expect that we would end this fast. But i sacrificed for him so that he can fulfill his wishes. His gone and She is so LUCKY, very. Im gone for good bby. Only memories are left. Cried me a river.. I cried so badly yesterday night. I could not sleep well , thinking why must we end.... I cannot force you to stay with me. Oh how i wish.. I have planned an outing on our first monthsary but everything went downhill. We are just not fated . AND a word Sorry is just not enough.

Its natural to get heartbroken in RS but your my love at first sight. Sanggup tinggalkan aku ='(((( im soooo freaking sadddd. I fcuking love youuuu but this is what i get in return... ='((((
I regretted , a lotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt... Am i sooo worthless to you? Im different from her,YES , totally. the way we love you is DIFFERENT. But u cant expect every girl you are with have the same PERSONALITY. Maybe she is the ONLY GIRL. U make me feel like a loser and people are laughing at me. Oh no, they are not laughing at me but they pull me back so that i can stand up again rather than seeing me fall to the ground everytime i got a heartbreak. But, Thanks for everything. Im gone.

2010-12-07T09:22:00.003+08:00

INCONSOLABLE

I am feeling so down since the last three days. All i can is just fake a smile everyday because one day i will get use to it, so sad. Blardy fcuking sad. Guess its like my depression mood is back. Hi depression , you suck -.- Im trying to chill myself. Going somewhere today and weep!!!! DAMN IT. Started so good but why, whyyyy must there will always be something that blocks our way???? Wondering. If only i can kill myself without any sins, i would have done that long ago.

AHHH, ok anyway.. Ive been working working working from 2pm till 11pm. Had lunch yesterday, LIKE ALONE -.- how pathetic is that. Work alone, Eat alone :( SUCKS. I almost cried infront of the customers. I feel so retarded but the rest made me smile :') but another thing why im sad is because... the blood clot :'((

Okay, i think i should better go now. Meeting someone later.

2010-12-03T10:15:00.003+08:00

I want straight hair back but it will cost a lot for me to pay. Not only once
but also for the next rebonding session. Too bad. All i can do is do tempo
rebonding by myself. Well, not everyday lahhhh but only for bf :)

Worked yesterday. Freaking exhausted -.- and the work is very boring. U know what? Robinsons is still the best. Nothing can replace RBS. RBS got the swag yo. The thing is, RBS is well prepared but JL is not. *Crying here* 7 more days to work and 15 more days to result :O ohh meee god!!! Then after that, im not working, NO MORE but pay will come on the 28th and going Malaysia JB, after the day i take my results. WALAUWEY! confirm i will not be in a holiday mood. I just hope that i pass and qualify to go sec five if not, someone will kill me, does not matter blood or not :O !! And yeah, i make a lot of new friends there. But then, its kindda..
RACIST. Tsktsk. As in, there are only a small portion of Malay. But friends there i met, were all niceeeee :)

Okay, wanna shower soon. Today will be the next tiring day. DAMN. I just cannot wait for morning walk with musketeers next week. Mount Faber and Sentosa :D And will receive FILA shoes tmrw/Sunday. AWWWWW ^^

i don't really use boyFRIEND. I rather use BF :)
ilovebf.

2010-11-30T22:46:00.003+08:00

MUKA BURUK -.-

Okay, i should update. Currently fb-ing, blogging and webcam with bby :D wahhhhhhh. Errr, what should i say? I wanna go out badly :( im dying at home. Heh. OH wait, going out tmrw with Nadia and the rest. BOWLING at Marina. Jeng Jeng Jeng. Morning exercise. Okay lame fidi lame.

Yesterday watched Harry Potter. It was... OHKAY but i wanna watch Rapunzel. Its kindda comedy to me :D anyways, two more days to work, booohuhuuu, coffee everyday. OMFG.

Ahhh, damnn. I miss bf a lottt, huhuuuuu, IMYYY LAHHHH. Meet soon!

2010-11-28T21:00:00.002+08:00

Second post for tuuuu day . Ermm, im still waiting for bby's text. Awwwww ;( sobb sobb. Got the feeling low battery? New phone kan ? Heee. Happy and Congrats :D Omg, i hope you will sent me to work when you are not working ^^ cheyy, macam menyusahkan jek. Anyways, hope to have fun and make friends there :') but still, RBS ROCKSSSSS!! miss them so much :(

Urmm, currently uploading pictures. Fault days yesterday, slash slash, hahha. ok, wth. Im feeling bored, thats why im like a lil bit RETARDED. Weep for me. Im hungry and waiting for tmrw. Movie with Nadd :D hehehuhuhaha. ^^ Errr, confirm tmrw wear slack :) Split tee and ... errr, jeans? arrghhh, who cares. But die die have to bring jacket. uh yeah, bye!

2010-11-28T17:37:00.003+08:00

Its been a while, so, why not i introduce myself again every single year. I have a name, every human has their own name but my parents named me Noor Firdiana Bte Asnan :) for me, that is a wonderful name. I am still breathing even though i am breathless at times -.- lols, for 16 years full of regrets, success, tears and laughter. That is life. Educated in Ping Yi Secondary. Which makes me a secondary 4. Standing 147cm, i am happy with that but i just need to gain more weight. It is easy for me to lose and takes years to gain. I am a pure Muslim/Islam. Glad to be one. Me and my sister looks alike but she is tall. I am still wondering if we have a mixed blood. Okay next. I have 2 siblings. My brother 23 and sister 20. I am not close with bro but im soooo close with my sister. We share certain things :) i really love her as my sister so do i love my parents eventhough at times when i am really really mad, i was insolent to them :'( You know, i always pray that i hope god would help me change to be a better person =')

I am really obsessed with chocolates like how i am in love with bf, Faridzwanshah :) I adore hot pink but, i go with the flow with all colours :D Butterflies are beautiful. I saw white before but i am scared to touch it, hah. I have split personalities , revealed clearly. I can dress casual at times and i can dressed 'dope' when i feel too. I am not a dancer or singer, but i love to watch them dance and my friends sing. Its okay to dress what you want whether you are a dancer or singer or NOT a dancer provided that you don't dress like as if you are killing your own self. Fashion suicide i mean. That is my first split personality. I have another but , i am still thinking whether should i post it or not.... Just giving you guys a clue. I can be mean at times and nice if you are nice to me. I can change myself and i know i can control it.

I can be easily emotionally and physically and mentally hurt by someone who REALLY2 breaks my heart. I mean MAJOR problem especially in relationships whereby you really love that someone and that guy hurt you like some SH*T , you cry and cry all day but that guy is tooooo ego and leave you hurt all alone. Like that. If its minor, i dont care, i am used to it. I was once traumatised really bad in school till i can forget myself. Eversince the incident had happend in school, i could not really remember back mostly all the memories like how i can remember those memories last time. I got a huge depression at that time.

Uh yeah, skip skip. I love trying different sports. I played for SPFC womens football team before in 2009. Won champion. I back out this year because of major exam. Used to be a cheerleader in 2007 and 2010. Netballer and Malay dance, back during primary school days. Likes to run but not a 10000x fast runner luh. In an ALPINE house (blue) Four years champion in a row. And now, i am chilling. An infocommer. Computer geek. Part time 'stalker' hah, wth. Every single year except 2008, Ms Saw will never failed to ask me and some friends a favour to design Class Expectation for Maths, 100% passes. I tend to love Math :) My studies went well for the first 2 years but i think its because i slack too much during sec 3, my sec 4 results was sooo freaking horrible for the half in 2010. Another half, i put on my best shot. Hoping that i got the chance to go Sec 5 with the rest.

Oh please, i am not arrogant. I am just shy if i just met that person or i can be loud . I do love friends that is very outgoing :D i can make stupid jokes to make people happy even just a day i know that person. Everyone has a sense of humour and everyone can be morosed when they are in an inconsolable situation because we got feelings. Been in a serious RS before but too bad, not fated. Errrr, what else should i say. Oh, im dreaming to be a fashion designer as my part time career but somehow, someone pulls me down :( but im still holding on to my wishes.
I do not drink, smoke or sheesha, believe me. Its just hard for me. Been there but never done that. I meant its okay if my friends smoke or something. its normal in life :) i guess, thats all about me yo. Peace.

2010-11-27T09:06:00.003+08:00

Cannot wait for 0930 to past :D wooooohooooooo! Gonna get ready , everything and off to Simei first and to Novena. I wanna go EXPO as there is IT sales plus ...... MEGA FLEA MARKET, oh awesome or what? but confirm there is a lot of humans shopping -.- darn. I am craving KFC's chicken! huhuhaha!

I shopped yesterday with my Nadd to Bugis and to town :) Hehe, soo happy, okay lame fidi lameeeeeeeee -.- And im in love with UniQlo's jeans , only $19.90!! freaking cheap. Im buying that soon, YAYY me! Arrrghhh change the subject, had and argument now, bye

2010-11-26T18:08:00.003+08:00

Why not i post about bby right? Ohman, i miss him a lot :( i hope he knows that. Whenever i miss him, i always pretend that his presence is beside me when actually there is no one , sobbsobb. Ok, he is busy with work, i cannot possibly disturb him right? well, have fun on that ^^ while im dead at home, alone (sometimes)

You know, there is something special about him. You should know that sometimes we get attracted by boys sweet talk to girls, the way they flirt and we get so hyper. But as for him, there is one part that i find him special. Not about how he looks like, but ..... his smile that makes my heart liquefy. Ohhh my, im so in love with him. His smile, can make my life sooo blissful :D if i were beside him now, i would pinch him hard as i can . He is toooo adorable to be my bf. Gahhh

Muhammad Faridzwanshah, ilovehimalot :)
the guy that i met during Robinsons time.

2010-11-25T21:37:00.007+08:00

Second post for today because i promised SOMEONE that i'll post about him , LAUGH OUT LOUD. Okay, let me think, this post is surely from the bottom of my heart, okay bestfriend? :D Happy uh , i post about you, got picture some more. 7% GST for that! since i put your picture at my blog ^^ hahhaa. Don't PLAY PLAY arhh. Let me just type his name here.

MOHAMMAD AIDIL BIN NORDIN :D ,

as known as AdilSupafly as known as my guy bestfriend :) we cheer each other up and share problems too :) he is a good friend of mine. We known each other like last year? Jyeahh but then, something happend in the mid of 2010, lost contact :( boohuhu. His birthday is on the 5th of APRIL. He got the swag , kachinggggg* He kept saying he is FAT, but i don't think so -.-
STUBBORN right? and i know he is freakingggg TALL, like double of me. Okay fake. My one irritating guy bestfriend , please do visit him at Science Centre because thats where he is working now. HAHA. I got faith in him, really i do. I can say he is a SHY GUY, like omg :D but still the best ya! :)

2010-11-25T16:22:00.002+08:00

SHOPPING
Holla peoples :D today, i feel like dying because i did not go out and shop, too bad :( but tmrw, is a yeah :D still finding ripped jeans while i have found beanie at M&S $18 two days ago -.- Bugis with my sec one mate , hehe, misses like a lot but just for while as she got kenduri later on. Its ok. Maybe from bugis to far east = (CHEAP FACE) haha, why? cannot uh? lol. Sister was like "You stayed home??" and i said "Yeahhh.." what she meant was if she was me, she will go shopping. HAHHAAA, I am waiting for year end sale and johor trip.

SARAWAK
Omg, i really miss JB. Oh no no, i miss Sarawak more. I wish i got the chance to go back there . That place might not be like NY. But i love it :) I still remember for the last day , with our uniform on and we have to watch this dance. Well, me and nazirah slept at the extreme behind. Cannot tahan! we were so freaking tired :( and i miss the 5 star hotel, OMFG. The food especially. I was the first person to wake up everyday and wake nazirah and my JUNIORS up :D i miss doing that. If not because of Robinsons, i would have travelled to India and even before to Melbourne. Just not fated BUT, i never in my life REGRET of working at RBS. All my colleagues are all nice :D / yeah, that baby face friend of mine, Tawfiq, just went off to New York 2 days ago? DAMNN, have a safe flight dude.

TWENTY THREE MORE DAYS to N'LEVEL RESULTS!
Im scared :( Im aiming at least 18 points will do. I have to go secondary 5 :( im very morosed for these few weeks because i have been having bad dreams about my results. I just hope i pass. My aim for D&T is distinction. Ohmann :(

LOVE
I miss my Muhd Faridzwanshah, a lot! I just don't why must someone bring back then story when she was once with him? Are you still hoping for him? Whats over is over. You talked about me when YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW ,even a percentage. Why? Im not mad at you or something but i know how you felt . Ive been through it. There is no need for me to argue with you. Im 16 and not 6. So, i don't need a fight. Leave it with a smile. You are strong to move on and Let me be happy with him.

2010-11-22T13:55:00.003+08:00

Im freaking bored at home -.- equals, i need to find a life outside. Okay, i have to remind myself to photocopy my bank book and IC. So morosed that someone whom im hoping to work with did not get the job. Please, he is good , even better than me. I miss cashiering with him during RBS training and that is when i fell in love with him at first sight. Sobb :'( its okay, sometimes we got to learn and work independently. I hope he will be fine working at his uncle's place. U may or may not read this blog but even though we're a lil bit far apart from each other, working in a different place, just so you know, i imaginarily tattooed your name across my heart. ily.

only god knows how long can we last.

2010-11-21T11:01:00.003+08:00

Hehe, huhu, having headache, shit. Anyways, yesterday went out for a while with bf and friends to Clarke Quay and as for me, gave Nazirah a big shocked at Robinsons Centrepoint :D Working uh babe? hahhaa. Oh RBS, i miss those days. I wonder why must it end so fast :'( Next, John Little. Hoping bf and friends will get the job too , boohuhu. Getting pay tmrw = SHOPPING. Ohya, Half of it will be given to mum. Half will be MINE! HAHA! okay, so evil -.- Buying one of these shoes. Still wondering which one to buy. Help me!

I gotto make list of things that i wanna buy plus im buying for sister her night essence, err okay :) Everything BUGIS STREET! haha, cheap face. Its okay if its cheap provided that it is NICE :)
But for shoes, different story ^^ Uh yeah, i die die have to go shopping , SALES! I want a date with bf :D lols/ Ok bye.

2010-11-19T08:51:00.005+08:00

Okay, im back. Time is up for Robinsons and im missing my colleagues, awwww ='( best colleagues ever, lots of misses and memories. Friends are awesome there, love it. We only met for like how many days and there it goes, crapness in us. Problems facing with different customers. Spanking butts. Giving hugs. Tears of joy. Annoying Hasan's voice will be the loudest. Talking to Bangla while waiting for the train. Angry at times. Running here and there for price tag. Hearing the same new songs till we memorised it. Kicking peoples butt. Boxing. Wearing Robinsons tshirt. Name tag and we almost break all the rules. Okay, lets come to the sweetest one. Found our love there and i met mine, at first sight since the training and till now.

Awwww, i felt like weeping during the last day of work and now too. Wonder where we all will be heading after this Job ='( Hoping that we will not lost contact. You guys means a lot to me. And i miss the four tills. Always get scolded =')

EXPRESS COUNTER :')

toodles beautiful peoples~

2010-11-12T20:41:00.003+08:00

Having friends like these are awesome!

Okay, its been a while since i last updated my bloggy. Dead, so sad ='( O'level just ended and hoping that my contract will finish asap. Next will be JL . huhu. You know, working with my Robinson's friends, was the most fun experience ever, i swear :) and i got this emotional feeling that i will cry on the last day, hugging my friends, saying goodbye, see you soon, take pictures and so on. Ohya, im soooo, bringing cammy on sunday, last day for me. Awww, boohuhuuuuu! this is moroseful. Hoping to meet them again. They were all nice people :)

And fell in love with a guy during the second day training at RC. Damn, never i felt love at first sight till i found you. Almost everyday we get to see each other but we do not have the time to talk. awwww, very sad right? but u will always remain in my heart. It was supposed to be a secret but then, it spread so fast , lol. My friend ask me this "Are you going to be sad, i mean you guys going to depart from this job soon?" "I'll be very sad but its okay...." i hope we won't lost contact after we all depart from Robinsons (sad face)

And Arina, i hope you will get well soon! i miss you a lot. Huhuuuu

2010-11-01T19:47:00.002+08:00

Ohhhman, just got a scolding from sister ='( berry berry morosed right now. Okay, stop it. I will give back your blouse asap lah. Huhu, sorry for not asking you permission. Im just scared. Anw, just now, went to RE for interview thing for Hanisah and Nazirah and as for me, about the time-shit, haha, i mean time sheet :) Before that, had lunch at this squeezy Banquet around Raffles Place. Rich peoples -.- damn. Oh should i just say, working peoples ? -.- HAHA. After that to RE. And after RE, Somerset for a WINDOW SHOPPING. Oh no, i mean, just a walk for the sake of NAZIRAH, lol. Went to Orchard Central, level 12. I swear its scary taking the escalator which is near to the transparent window (I wonder who created that design -,-) Should have taken the elevator. So peoples, don't think of killing yourself by jumping down from a tall building. Wake up! You yourself is scared of heights, might as well just overdose yourself rather than jumping down right? LMAO. Not teaching but facts.

After the whole excitement at OC. Comes to 313 Somerset, well that's when the part me and zie played this huge, well, not really CHESS, how fun. Bored of playing small chess, just come to 313, level 5 outdoor for some random games. After we sweat a lot, head home. Just about to reach my crib when someone just pushed a maid and she bled a lot . FREAKING shocked to see the blood flow from her nose. Hanisah was wayy like a human hulk without transforming into a big body builder. She's angry, Nazirah frustrated, I , idk ? =) but i felt commiserate. Ran to kedai mama to buy plain water. Damn worried and stayed there till 6pm. And HSH ^^ ohya, my chickies came to my crib and stalk FB, okay WTH -.-

I guess i got a crush huh :D

2010-10-30T21:01:00.003+08:00

I guess i cannot fall in love easily. My two musketeers were true =') maybe i fall in love easily and fall out of love that fast. But you see, i think, i just had a crush. Maybe , just maybe an admirer. He's nice , very and funny all the times. I cannot reveal his name yet, sorry. But, i still have to know him more better.

Oh mannnnnn, tmrw will be the last day of training, how boring can it be? -.- damn, gonna miss cashier-ing with Arina, Faridzwan and Luqman. Laughing partners whom i just know for 3 days, yet so chilling and fun. Met a lot of friends there, believe me. All of them are friendly. Mostly stayed at East side :) But still, misses

2010-10-27T16:45:00.002+08:00

attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that.

2010-10-26T19:01:00.003+08:00

I just wish that one day, we get to hold hands and make fun of each other. Sweet like candy huh? I have been missing you a lot, everyday i think about you but you do not know that yet. When i am scared, alone in my room, i will always think the good memories we have been through, one year ago. We were never ex before, NEVER but felt like one when i am with you. After months of separation, we started contacting with each other again.Well, i am always looking forward for your call every single day. Somehow, i felt bad, very. She still loves you and i do not know if you still love her. And here, i am with you to make you happy :')

You both had been through the hard days together for this few months. I felt commiserate towards you. Everyone deserves to have a true one but you are the one whom get hurt by her.
Both changed for a reason. I am not siding anyone, please. But i just hope that you realised that.
You kept repeating "Im sorry for what i did to you last time......." Its, ok, i have forgiven you long time ago.

ANW, yeah

U are taking your major exam now, all i can do is give you my support. And lastly, i miss you like freaking a lot ='(

2010-10-22T08:58:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, went to Sengkang Swimming Complex which is the Anchorvale. Off with my sexy babes and two adiks. Fun, Awesome, i love it :) Even there is haze and drizzling of rain, we still go. Never regretted to go there. Countless of times we took the 8 slides. But major is the 4 slides :D hahaaaa! After that, went to MacDonald for lunch and off to Zie's crib till night. Watched SREAM3 and eat Tomyam, niceeeeeee ^^

I Love My 2 Musketeers :D

2010-10-19T21:44:00.004+08:00

i hate to get caught in a love triangle. how suckish it can be. my friend told me that if can, get out from the love triangle situation because it will be hard for me to get out. true but i will get over it, somehow. i got few days left till my result. Its a must for me to give the answer. Damnnnn, help me. Tmrw there's briefing in the morning at 10am. I'm going alone. But i will meet my girlfriend tmrw. She will fetch me, YAYnesss. I'm going to put my own decorated shoes on tmrw :D random. Green Day yay. Will tie plates for my hair :)

2010-10-14T19:54:00.003+08:00

8th October 2010
Job Hunting with Lina Honey :D Awesomeeeness with the craps and also her cuteee scolding. Some people when they scold, they do not look angry. Instead they laugh :D lol. Went home early because went somewhere ^^ hehe, Home at night. Got job, yeah. Have to work hard. Pictures wth Lina syng.

5/5

9th October 2010
Went to Cikgu's house and photoshoot at PRP :) Off to Lunch-Dinner at Century Square. Met hot guys. OMG! how fake can it be.

4/5
I rate it 4/5 its because somethings did not go well -.- likeeee shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

10th October 2010
Happy Monthsary To Haaaachoooooo and Uzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzz :D Last Long. Ohh yessss, Went to meet ................ at JE . Idk if i should say his name here. But to be safe. Ok, talk things out. Yeahhh... Off to Airport to meet my god brothers and sisterkuuuuu. FUNNNN LAHHH siaaaaa, lmao. Study DNT too.

4/5
Someone broke her heart.

11th October 2010
DNT paper, Final paper and freedom.

5/5
Freedom arrives

12th October 2010
Job Hunting Part One with same sexy babes :) Hanisah and Nazirah. Interview, Lunch together and with her love life, Uzzzzzz ZZzzzzz =D hahaaaa. Zeeee went out with her ehem, BF ^^ Oh, the saddest, i cried on that day. No matter how hard i tried to get over it, it hurts me when people is trying to talk rumours. LIKE ass toot.

3/5
Sadd and im the cupid for the day.

13th October 2010
Okay, this time, for them, interview :D hahaaaaaaaa. And coincidencely metup with Junior, Faris and Ben at the same place. Which we will be working at the same place :D HAHAAAA! Super Cool.

5/5
At night, went to BRP to take a walk or fresh air. Suuuuuuupppxxx Nice! I saw couples at there. All i can do is smile. Oh i wish .

14th October 2010
Graduation Day :)

Oh yes, as you can see, reading someone's fb can afflicts my feelings but i just throw that shit feelings of mine and replace with a new one. Why do i even need to say when it is already over? I will take it as my lesson. I will find a good one who is concern. You know, i never thought to myself that hey OK, she change because they feel symphatised because of me. Damnnn, never i thought of that. They see you and look at you change for WHO YOU ARE and not because of ME. Take note, We all wanted you to change for the better and not because of one person. I may look small but i can stand up on my own. Even how many posts you wrote about me, there's no price to it. People will know who is the person. And people will start to think what kind of human am i, right?? People will start to hate me that's the reason you are away. They know anything but not EVERYTHING. I have a heart, only one heart to love , care and BE THERE for someone that needs help. I do have ego but my ego is not strong. But this time, i will never do anything because its FATE, like what you said at FB right? Yeap. Lets fate decide.
Okay, this is a waste of time.

2010-10-09T09:40:00.002+08:00

If only Singapore opens at least one shop of PASTRY, i
swear i'll buy one of the nicest ^^

Hot sesangat sangat. Ohhhmann, nak beli ='(
and i got a work already, amin.

2010-10-03T12:20:00.002+08:00

School is ending soon ='( how sad can it be. Booohoooooo. I'm going to miss 412 , Dopes and Dolts and more. Hardcore for combined science and a lil bit for Geog. I've been wanting to go Sec Five ='( haishhhh..

Anw, i do have a prob but i will leave that a side as my N's is what i am aiming for. Wednesday and Thursday was like a nightmare. But thank god it ends.

2010-09-27T19:59:00.003+08:00

I cannot give up. I am fighting hard enough inside me to have just ONE, not two. After reading the symptoms, i feel like weeping ='(( its true but i have to control.

2010-09-27T19:34:00.003+08:00

Gyeahh, "My Girl" handband. NOT hairband. I always use to this at my hand almost every single day but nowadays, i am not wearing it. Too scared that my physics teacher will confiscate it. Left one. Another, someone took it by accident and i just don't know where is the handband now ^^ Anyways, Two more days. Oh, maybe i must not count because time will past freaking slow. Damn it -.-

I got hot tempered mood for these few days after i got home. Something just keep bothering me . Just maybe, i am having pressure ='( But i have to thank friends and family for putting a smile on my face every single shyt days i have :D

OMG! got tuition later -.- tsktsk. Final week of school and next week, N'Level heats! O.O Friday half day. Studying at somewhere and at the same time, fresh air ^^

Signing out, firdiana xoxo

2010-09-26T11:16:00.004+08:00

1 more week to N'Level ='( im scared.

2010-09-22T19:21:00.004+08:00

(just a random candid picture)

"It's beautiful when you are looking through ROSE COLOURED GLASSES :) "
rose coloured glasses means you see the world pleasant and vibrant eventhough you know the world is not right but when you take those RCG off, you will see lies behind.

I found this song creative and nice :) firstly, i thought this song was like some no sense at all but when i read the lyrics, it was meaningful. Its between her and her bf. They were in a long RS. After they brokeup, their friends ask her to get back together with him but then, she refused. Her friends just know the lies but she know the truth. You see that? And RCG is not like other glasses like Rayban or whatever. It is a glass that when you put it on, everything POPS! you will see beautiful things around you :) You will see the world colourful when the truth is , there's lies everywhere and the world isn't that perfect. Oh i wish i have the RCG. Whenever i am feeling morose, i can put it on so that i will not feel sad but damn, too bad, i don't have it.

I hope someone knows that i am missing him a lot :'(

2010-09-21T12:02:00.006+08:00

Blissful six hundred :)

Holla peoples. Didn't attend school today and i even have the intention to turn on the lappy :) what more can i say, it is dull here. Dead -.- Having a very bad headache since yesterday during physical edu. My whole body starts to cramp. I couldn't walk properly after i woke up. This is sickening -.- i miss my friends in school :( awwww. I'll meet you guys tmrw :) Ohya, not fogetting,

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY SISTER and BLISSFUL 24th YEARS ANNIVERSARY!

Well, she is twenty now :) grown up. LOL. Final year in TP, good for her. I'm still struggling for N'level, sheesh. Happy 24th Years Anniversary to my parents , heee. Will be going out later in the afternoon for lunch with family eventhough my body hurts a lot.. Sobbing ='( but i'll have fun, hopefully.

Someone says this to me during D&T lesson: Natural is Beauty =') Why i never i thought of that? Its true. Even if i were to have x1000kg eye bag, natural is still the beauty. Not only from the outside but also from the inside. That's more important. If a true guy really loves you, he will accept just the way you are. Whether you're gorgeous or ugly. All he is looking for is the beautiful heart :) he will love you for that if he is true.

2010-09-18T07:38:00.002+08:00

Damnnnn, gonna miss four one two soooo much after N's end ='( we will never know where we will be heading for next year. We have stuck with each other since Sec 3. Ive stuck with Shien Yew, Junior, Hawa, Mel and He Tong since Sec 1 :') *weeps* Time flies. Well, i want to wish them a Good Luck for N's :) and for those who are taking N's there, reading my blog :) PEACE*

2010-09-15T18:08:00.002+08:00

I had a thrilling dream yesterday. I was dreaming about myself in coma.
In a critical condition:( All i can remember was my eyes were still closed,
still breathing through the oxygen mask. I just don't know what happen
to me but i can remember that i can feel my soul walking and i saw my
family :( awwwwww, i hope it will not be dejavu ='(

2010-09-11T09:14:00.004+08:00

Three more posts to 600 :) Ohh yaaaayyy! Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims :D
Have fun alright. The parents have to give money but the children $$ kachinggg. Uh, me lame.
Im sick, thats why i talk crap. I woke up just now and i couldn't open my left eye and i realised that its swollen. Ape orang cakap... ermmm, "Dalam panas" Ahhh, yeahh. Having flu and sore throat. Tears from my left eye keep falling -.- wow. I feel so sleepy.

Just wait and see what will happend tmrw, if it really happends. Im gonna let go one of my precious. I think i'm going to cry ='( sobb.

So, yesterday went to auntie's house at Bedok Reservoir. I thought i saw a friend of mine but nahhhh, it was not. Huaakkk.. Then to neneks house :) It was awesomeee with cousins :D

before going Jalan Bahar.

2010-09-05T20:12:00.002+08:00

Currently studying peribahasa with mum. She helped me a lot in understanding :)
Good Luck for N'Levels beautiful peoples :)

2010-09-04T20:31:00.002+08:00

I am not a fully good girl. Everyone is not :) I did noob stuffs when i was 13. I pierced my second hole at my ear during Hari Raya which makes Ibu shocked after seeing it. I pierced my nose at the right when i was 14. Mum said that i look like an Indian -.- It was pain and my nose was swollen. I have to take care of it. I always get scolded of using a nose stick during school. I always get caught about being too vain during my 2007. I used silky girl makeup before going to school. I used black mascara and more. Freaking vain at that time. And lastly during my lower sec, I look like a one disturbing minahrep -,-

After i stepped 15, my life changed. I restrained from using makeup and applied baby johnson powder before going to school. I decided to close my nose hole eventhough its tough for me. I still keep my second ear hole. My ex changed me a lot and turned over a new leave. He pulled me from being a one minah skinny. Be casual, normal.

I lost a lot of blood when i was 13. Maybe , just maybe the reason why im lack of red blood cells ='( i was despaired. It was unexpected when i had an accident which deeply cut my elbow. It was just 3cm but deep cut. Blood drips after a drip. Pailed face. Sent to the hospital for stitching. Half of my uniform was fulled of blood. People stared. Tragic moment ='( thats why im lack of red blood cells. So, get it? Traumatised during 15years old because of depression problem. I've caused a lot of problem. // Fell from the swing suddenly 4times. Had a second deep cut at my leg when i was a kid. Choked a full mentos which almost killed me when i was just a Primary 1?

Well, this is life. Take care.
ilovebf.

2010-09-04T00:28:00.002+08:00

why am i feeling so sad? ='(( i just wanna be happy. but my heart feels, there is something wrong.

2010-08-31T19:59:00.003+08:00

In your face.

Its Tuesday and there's no school tmrw. Like Yay you know, i've been wanting a rest but nahh, too bad because N'Level starts next week. I've been thinking about what is going to happend to my English N'Level. I hope i pass, with flying colours. Cry fidi cry.. Gotto aim high for compo, summary and letter writing. Oral, please make me impress. I talked a lot during oral, i still can remember the topic. LIKE OMG. Ok, weep fidi weep.

Just now, AWESOME, dance like there's no tomorrow. I just don't know why but we dance crap during the Aces *rock sign* POWER! We dance bollywood, hollywood, retro, mr bean and more. Sheesh. SUPERB hyper at that time. Non-stop laughing. It feels like the face kena botox ehh -.- Oh, not forgetting, Sec3 VS Sec4 VS Sec5 in dancing. Step up yo!! :D me and zee did our own thing ~ swagga... Alep was there. Damnn, it was a chaos! :D Friends shook their butts too. Somehow, i feel like crying. We managed to get along with the express ^^ and NT also. Haish. This year, there will be Graduation Day for all sec 4's and 5's ='( Just now was fun dancing with all of them~ closer bonding. I Love It :')

First Performace: Indian Dance
Second Performance: Isma, Aswan, Sara and Angelo
Third Performance: Shaza, Junior and Edwin
Fourth Performance: Hip Hop Dance
Fifth Performance: Angklung
Sixth Performance: Glee Club
Seventh Performance: Modern Dance.

This year, all the performances have improved a lot. THUMBS UP!

ACES DAY and TEACHERS DAY CELEBRATION was DOPE!

2010-08-30T19:03:00.002+08:00

My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.

2010-08-25T20:01:00.004+08:00

CONGRATULATION SINGAPORE::YOUNG LIONS!! :D

Its okay if they got bronze for the Finals, we are still proud of them because bronze is something. They are still a winner inside their heart :) I love it when they posed after the 3rd goal. Laughed out loud. Oh, i got scolded from my dad because i was still watching the match during the break fast. Dad was like "Cepat lahh!! Bola Bola Bola -.-" And i was like, sheesh.. Like hello, your daughter USED to play football too kan? Alamak. Then mum said "Hmm, alahh, takpelah, go depan ngok" I smiled and i bring along my food to the living room. They scored 4-1 :D HAPPY FOR THEM!!!

Okay, anw, i did miss playing soccer, to be TRUTHFUL. My boot will be abandoned for, idk how many years. That boot was a gift from my dad on my birthday. That was the green light that they gave me the chance to join the FC. Awww, but that was like a year ago. Starting a new life.

2010-08-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

Okay, kill me. I'm feeling down. I guess... it's mood swing? It scuks a lot. Damn it -.-

Oh, tmrw will be Geography paper, and i am not confident about it =( I have studied more on River and half on GOF. Pray hard for tomorrow's paper. 3 papers left. Okay people, im going to sleep soon. Toodles.

2010-08-22T14:51:00.000+08:00

STEP UP THREE WAS AWESOMEE! :D

2010-08-20T22:37:00.003+08:00

"All i can hear is raindrops falling onto the rooftop"
Its raining for these few days. Bbbbrrrrr, its cold in here. Well, today was my half day. I went home since i had a huge headache and my eyes were swollen. Ryan was like "Are you sure you can go back home alone?" (curious) I said i'll be fine. I head home with my weak body and slept with my uniform on. Sister was still sleeping at that time. I slept till 5pm and studied Geography. I need to do something before i get emotionally depressed.

"I thought that from this heartache i could escape... "
Its killing me and i have to be strong. My eyes is like a 5kg eye bag. Damn it. But i felt so moroseful. Everyone was staring when i got into the bus. Who cares who cares. Yeah, it looks ugly with my swollen eyes. Five teachers came to me and ask if i'm alright or not. Of course, i thank them and friends for their concern especially my personal fitness teacher. She knew that i was having tension? Prelims next week. Have to ease my mind.

And God knows I ain't perfect, tell me who in the world is?
All I know is that I'm searching for somebody to love me with these flaws

2010-08-18T21:03:00.002+08:00

Prelims will resume next Monday ='( Im scared, damn scared.

2010-08-14T18:03:00.004+08:00

Sorry adeq Radhi if i im not there to support you when you are playing for your YOG football. I hope you know that i am dying to go there and support you. Such a useless sister am i to you. Its true that we are not real blood siblings but i treat you like my own brother. I have known you for about 4years. I still remember when you were still taking your PSLE while i am still a nerd during my new Secondary One life. I said to you that i preferred you to be my lil brother eventhough you are much more taller than me. It doesn't matter because is the friendship&love that counts =') How grateful am i to have you as my brother. Oh i wish we could break fast again like we used to last year. We had 1000000 times of fun and crapness. We were sooo hungry at that time. I still remember the first time we met, Butterflies "IS THAT MY ADEQ?" You came to watch my football match last year at night. You sacrificed and i sacrificed mine too, to watch your football match 2 years ago and just recently, i came to your training at Bedok. but unfortunately, there's no prove for me that i'm your blood sister =( even i argued with the noob uncle, i tried to lie but i can't. Outside, i'm so damn angry but deep inside, i'm crying like hell that i couldn't get to see you before your YOG starts. Eventhough i didn't get into, but at least i get to see you from where i was standing. I would just blow you a kiss and goodluck before i go. This is soo moroseful =(

But adeq, wtv it is, i promise to try my best to go for your finals even if it is raining, I would just sit there and watch. I've told my mum to purchase the tickets. Sanggupku pergi sorang tanpa kawan. For my adeq, anything :') my prayers on you guys.

year 2008

2010-08-14T12:46:00.002+08:00

i got lots of things to buy :)
new slouchy crochet beanie, rip jeans, rip leggings, wedges heels, maxi dress,
nudy green or gray contacts, VANS shoes, new bag :D lots huh? saving $$$$
and wait, long jumpsuit too :)

oh gosh, i miss them and more like a lot!

2010-08-14T12:22:00.003+08:00

Its Saturday. I don't know if i should go out or not. I feel so restless. Weeps. I feel like crying so that i can release my despaired feelings but i know deep inside, i am crying. Maybe i should take a stroll at Bedok Reservoir Park, alone. It looks like PATHETIC but it's the best way.

Now i am listening to Monster by Lady Gaga, a favourite music for this month. Well, speaking of my sadness, someone is going to turn sixteen tmrw :) I feel happy for her :D

2010-08-08T14:00:00.003+08:00

I feel so weak.. i cannot believe that my fever is coming back =( well, i just cured 2 weeks ago and now, its coming back again . How sad. Had cough, flu and my left hand is weak. Typing this , im just using my right hand and a lil bit of my left hand. Gosh, please make me feel better :( i feel like crying when i get to know that my fever is coming back, sobb sobb =( my voice changed due to the flu -.- eyes are like swollen, as if i got beaten up by a group of gangsters. Ohman, i feel like closing my eyes and sleep and wake up later. I wanna watch adeq's training at Bedok, later at night. I miss him a lot.

Well, he just haven't realised yet that he's the one that i have been thinking of.

2010-08-06T21:26:00.003+08:00

This is what i do when boredom :] just doing what girls do, you know. Web cammy alone in the night. Okay, i am very hungry eventhough i've ate Maggie Mee and Yong Tau Foo .. Hehe :DD fatty ain't i but please, i have to gain like 10kg? Its just that, i realised that last time, i used to be a lil bit chubby. But now, im kindda losing my chubbyness but gaining in weight? Ohman, what is that suppose to mean anyway. I WANNA GROW 1.6m can? Sobb sobb.

Oh, i got a date with someone tmrw. Im nervous, huhu. This is my first time, eating at a special place with a special friend of mine O-O okay, pray hard.

2010-08-05T18:57:00.005+08:00

Year 2010 and Year 2009. Sobb sobb. Now i realised that i miss year 2009 ='( On behalf of that, i miss the outings. This year is such a cramp year -.- this problem, that problem. Wonder when will it ever end. I got this feeling like i want to bang my head on the mirror and it cracks. Got to say that this is life, how pathetic can this be. Yawn people yawn!

Oh, tmrw is National Day Celeb. Same thing happend. I don't wish to come but i have to. Im kindda hot headed for this few months. I can be veryyyy mean and better watch your mouth people. *Roll eyes* sheesh. Im gonna throw a mirror at your face and let it reflect your own self. Bare the pain that im going to say to you. Don't be overbearing please for god sake. Save me lahh

2010-08-03T19:36:00.004+08:00

NEW ADMIRER HUH? ^^ , CONGRATULATION -.- oh wait, WHAT DO I EVEN CARE :)

Its Tuesday and tmrw will be Wednesday :) Oh, and there's Math tmrw :( I just hope to pass the test that was given last two days. Please, i am praying so hard that i'll pass my Malay Prelim. Teacher was like "There's two failures :(" i looked at Kila, Kila looked at me, our heart was trembling. Dying to know who failed. Please, i will feel kecewa if i were to fail my malay. Likeee hello! my own language in everyday lives. DIE SEYH!! huhu. Well, all the best *crying* Just now, Shaza's, Junior and Edwin performance was THE BESTTT!! haha

Speaking of Monday, played rugby against 411, mixture of 412 and 411. It was AWESOMEEEE!! eventhough the grass was freakish slippery -.- and some more, im fasting on that day and i made up my mind to run 2 rounds together with my friends. My energy reduces like shyt eh. Touch rugby was fun. People keep falling, HAHA. Include me :) i slip then fall and TOUCHDOWN!!! woah, nice spot where i fell, sheesh -.- My shorts were extremely dirty, I TELL YOU. Huahaha..

Oh ya, this Friday is a half day. NATIONAL DAY CELEB. And im gonna have a date with bestfriend on Saturday :) WOOHOOOOOOO. Monday and Tuesday holiday and i don't
think im going out as Adeq Radhi going back to his village =( i won't be going to watch the
fireworks this year =( sobb. "Confirm kau gi ngok fireworks this year" "Oh, taklah, this year tak gi, ngok pat tv sudah :(" "Wahh, first time kau tak gi ngok fireworks?? , Asal? DIER tak ade?" "DIERR??? -.- haha, NOOOO!" and blablabla...

my prelims results is the one that reflects how did i do for all the subs.
i wanna improve please :(

2010-07-31T09:09:00.002+08:00

Uyhhh, okay, im back. Been packed with school stuffs especially night study which makes me damn sleepy the next day. Planning to night walk but its better that D&D tag along. Next friday kay? :D HOORAYYY! Hmm, but, next friday is National Day Celeb. Oh shit. Nah, nvm =.= tsk. I've been wondering and pondering something.. just something. Well, there's no need for me to go to his fb after i read the message. I believe you but im still unhappy with certain things, still. Somehow, one day i will tell you but after i heard 'that', i crumpled like shit i tell you......

2010-07-25T18:38:00.003+08:00

DOESN'T EVERYBODY WANNA FALL IN LOVE?

everyone deserve to have someone they love in their life.

2010-07-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

Hello Earth. Sorry didn't post for these few days. Had prelims on Thurs and Friday. Thats the reason i don't have the time to post except for stalking :D chey fake. Anw, i managed to take the next step to continue with my life. Its natural in life and i just have to leave it with a smile :D ITS OKAY ITS ALRIGHT. Please, i didn't cry. Even if i were to cry, its because i yawn too much because of sleeping late till 12 just to study SS. It was like a last minute. Everybody was like eh fcuk lahh, why teacher tell last minute to study the chaps for SS, noob right? -.- i spend my days with sis at her bf's crib till 7 plus and BREAK FAST together. Ate murtabak. Alamakkdeyhhhh, enak banget ^^ yeah, his maid bought for us :) thanks.

After that, me and sis followed his mum to Bedok Reservoir to tailor the Raya dress. Green this year. Huahaha!! Last year red, amacam? lol. But i know, i won't really get to enjoy this year =(( Idk if sis is going Surabaya before raya. I feel like, i almost cried when she "we can like webcam when im at Surabaya" That was sad. Imagine every single year, early in the morning and the first day of raya i always wake my sis up and suddenly this year i wont do the same thing like i did. The room will be empty ='( if she were to go, 13 days without crapness in the house. Ohhh mann.. This is sad. First day of raya without her is like BORING. Every year, for the first day will always be the same houses. Takkan go raya like i alone with parents. Boringg pahhh..

It seems that ive moved on that fast. Is that supposed to be good or bad ? -.- Its good :) for me. haha. Im happy!! The only thing you need is, HEADS UP and move on. Someone msg me this and it really means a lot to me.

"A strong person knows how to keep their life in order.Even with tears in their eyes,they still manage to say IM OK with a smile"

2010-07-20T21:56:00.005+08:00

oh, you still read my blog?? i thought you didn't even bother to read it , sheesh -.- so, my say. thank you.

i will never know that it refers to someone because some can sense it.

2010-07-20T18:06:00.006+08:00

What if someone that used to love you suddenly hated you fcuking bad after what had happend between you and him? What do you feel? Sad? Angry? Heartless?

I'll probably say that im both sad and angry at the same time. I didn't expect that this would happen but its the decision that i have to take and fight for it. You see, you may see all the bull shits status about you at my FB well, actually, i don't have the freaking guts to do that but you make me say stupid things bout you! maybe that's the way that im going to forget all the things had happen. I HATE YOU! Im being so freakish mean because this time, i can't let any guys step onto my head AGAIN and NEVER. Too much. Oh no, I DONT MISS YOU BUT im showing you my hatred feelings to you. The pain that i'll go through is the pain that you'll go through.

You talk shit things about me, i talk shit things about you too okay? Being unbias right? Because if this is what you want, i threw it back. Feel the heat around you. I know, one day, i'll get dull fighting with you and so on. I can forget you, POSSIBLE but i will never forget what had happen in the past. Even if you wanted to seek for forgiveness, i'll say it now. I forgive you and pretend that you don't know me from the very first beginning.

I'LL PRETEND THAT YOU DON'T EXIST.

"i don't have the guts to say these but you make me want to." ive been in a long love story and i know how it feels. feel so angryyyyy!!! but i know, one day i'll forget about you. you're no longer my emmett. and im not rosalie no more. this hatred feelings will fade IF YOU leave me alone.

I don't mind if you're in a process with another girl. What i give a damn? Its your life and i can have a new replacement too. But not this fast. I just have to face the fact that we're not fated to be together. So, accept it.

saw that post i put at FB?

"What would you eventually say when someone misses you when you know that you both are not in a good terms? Tell me friends."

its not that i miss you but im curious to know from different peoples.

2010-07-18T11:26:00.003+08:00

Hello :]

Ok, like omg -.- Dad is currently fixing the light thingy at my bathroom and its freaking glass. So unsafe. What if the thing fell onto someone's head? Oh shit, Crack yknoww -.- Well, touch wood. Huhu. I still haven't shower yet. Will be going out later with parents again to Expo then to Tampines. Yesterday went to Sim Lim to sent my lappy but then tak jadi. My lappy doesn't even have virus lah. After we had our lunch, went to Bugis to buy the alibaba pants and off home sweet home.

I have a very bad eye bag ='( feel so gloomy. Okay, chill. Must put cucumber every night before sleep :) I had a weird waking up last 2 days. It was scary. Have you guys felt that you guys woke up in a sudden in a fast motion middle in the night? Like as if you're having a bad dream? I did. There's no dream but it was so weird waking up like that. Sis was like "Whats wrong with you?" Ah, anw, skip about that. Celebrated mum's bday on last Thursday. Me and sis went to make a cake at TampOne after i reached home from school. It was a long day for me. And then, KFC , pizza and Golden pillow arrived. Yummyyyy!!

Prelims next week. And Thursday will be SS and English. Friday will be Malay, huhu. And after a month, Prelims will start. Okay, i gotto buck up. I have to achieve what i wanted. Must get at least 19points for Prelims. Expection. And better for N'Level.

What girls expect to find what type of guy. For me, the guy has to be mature. Not too serious and not too playful :) Just an average type of guy. I don't really like guys who don't acumen the girl's feeling. Well, to do this thing easy, We have to understand each other. The guy gotto to be sincere , manage to express the care and love. A good karma will come back :) I dislike guys who are acting to be soooo damn indulgent -.- i found it disgusting. Okay, i love lovely guys :D No violence but LOVE&CARE.

2010-07-15T19:04:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM :D Ur 48 now, haha

Yooo supp peoples :D cheyy ^^ Okay, so today is mum's birthday and now,
waiting for KFC, Golden Pillow to arrive, YUMMYYYYY!!! Arhhhhhhhhh!!
shouldn't talk about food now as im fasting, for the past 3days :D woahhhh.
Tmrw im off, YAYYY FOOD! i wanna eat you! heh heh ^^ I think i'll be vv
skinny because you see, im just lazy to have my break in the morning sooo,
i have to wait till 7.15 =') hehe. HUNGRYYY yknowww..

Okay, i got mood swing yesterday like WTH -.- i hate when it comes like
that, it ruins my mood and things will become worst. Oh brother, somehow
i wish ur here and cheer me up ='( ur the one who can make me happy&
give me a lot of advice. One sentence keeps lingering around me was........
"Just leave it with a smile" remembering it will always motivate myself to
move on and smile because you see, don't waste our time on heart break
news or whatsoever :) time is precious and you need it to enjoy life more
than being depress, cry over something that is not worth it. So, wait for
what??? Puttttt ur smile on your face and say it to urself that i'll be happy
no matter what happends :) cos i did that everytime whem im sad..........

2010-07-11T19:22:00.007+08:00

"There is no such thing as wasting time on someone you care about.
Every second you spend on them or with them is a gift more valuable than any other."

Five Seven Zero Posts, Hello :D

What more can i say right? This blog is somehow alive and dead at certain
times :) Oh, its Sunday and tomorrow there's school. Like YAY?? Argghhh.
Everyday there will be PAL test. Believe it. Its for the fcvking 30minutes :(
Anyway, test can be important for the past 2terms but now, the tests won't
be counted in the Prelim and N'Level right? -.- but still, im going to study..
Yakkkkedeebushhh!!!

There's PE tmrw. Oh please, no running. My stamina scuks i tell youuuu!!
At least play something interesting.. like softball :D awesome! Speaking of
physical, football's final , this is scary. If Spain were to lose, i tell you,u the
peoples who supported Spain will feel moroseful!! confirm will break down.

And yeah, i miss someone. Like millions of time. I keep....... dreaming about
him. Unbelievable yeah? but true. Ok, maybe dreams are fantasy but it can
be reality.. Like a dejavu yknow. HAISHHHH.. Im still waiting for his reply.
If he didn't reply, then ..... its okay =')

this picture was taken at the 'new' bridge. I swear the bridge was like
sooooo freakingggg shaky and under the bridge is WATER -.- wow.
BUT ITS NICE

2010-07-10T18:35:00.004+08:00

Ooooooohhh, im sick ='( like again. My fever came back and i realised that just right
after i just stepped out from my house. I ignore my flu but i should be more concern
about that. My body started aching starting from the legs. So feeble. And then to my
head. Its crushing my brain. Oh headache. But i ignore that and continue with my
studies. Its been 6 freaking days of having fever. Well, yesterday was alright when
im in school. Managed to survive till 8pm. Were having night study. Pictures will be
uploaded soon. Anyways, yeahh, there it goes, my fever came back -.- how cool. Oh!
saw Fykaaaaa Castro at library just now :DD Pretty her.

Get well soon to Dolts and others who are sick :) and go SPAINNNN!!! :D
i ♥ mohammad aidil bin nordin :)

2010-07-08T08:35:00.003+08:00

Its 0839 and im not in school. I paitao from school, ssshhhhh , hehe.. Wahh, crazy uyh
i want to do that? Sorry, no time. If you were to paitaooo, might as well don't come to
school and sleep at home right? -.- LOL. Anyways, i didn't attend school today because
of my fever ='(( i miss my bbygirls and dopeboys in school. As you can see that i have
change the description thingy right? Shaza invented it :) TOUCHING~ Thank her for
that :)

Ohhman, yesterday N'level oral was alright :) im not confident. But it was awesome!
i didnt expect that it would appear that picture. Thank God.

I had the sweetest dream that night which i still can remember after i woke up :D
I dream about something amazing.ILOVEIT :D

And omggggggggggggggggggggggggg, my cutie cat steals my ikan bilis from my dish
-.- HAIYAAAAA but, cute :D

2010-07-06T19:24:00.003+08:00

So, its 7.20pm and im wayyy getting more sicker. Why today??? Why can't it be after
Wednesday? Tmrw's my N'level oral, oohhhmann... I hope i won't lose my voice after
i wake up tmrw. Omg, praying hard!

I cried today, really bad. Friends was like, ehhh, kau ok takkk??" im fine but some
trauma things. Flashback during primary school nerd days. How i really suffocate..
I just wish that when im in secondary, i jus wan to be happy because let us all leave
our secondary life with tears of joy. And i hopee to stay another year with beloved
friends. Now im fine.

School ended at 4pm. And stayed at the canteen till 5pm? Crap with Dolts about Afa's
joke -.- its killing the stomach. So, walked with NeneKila & board a bus to meet mum
last minute. Followed mum and to guardian to buy this fever thing. I can't eat medi :(
mum scared that i'll feel dizzy the next day. Lagi2 tmrw N'Level oral -.- what do you
expect?? Im currently fighting my fever. I cannot be weak, seriously. Wanted to take
pink form today but think twice, i gotto save it and be strong. I made it but its soooo
damn pain. Fever, Flu, Cramps, etc. I really really pray to God for at least save a day
for me tmrw to be strong. I needed that most.

And now, im posting. I miss someone but when i received a message, well, it was right
after i cried, tears of joy. He made me happy, my emmett :) how i really really miss
him a lot. I wish we could talk. I wish we could hangout someday. Well, that's all have
to come later ='( IMISSYOU alot.

2010-07-05T20:04:00.005+08:00

when i woke up this morning, i can feel the cramp , sad much. And then, i keep
sneezing like no other days till now and during tuition. how irritating is that. Well,
even Shafirah is sick now so am i -.- Get well soon& Thanks for the wishes yoo:)
At least someone cares. When i first took my temp, it was alright but then, after i
took it again after my shower, it was 37.8degree. I don't wish to know whats my
temp now -.- ISH, why am i sick at the wrong time?????

Im stubborn so before going tuition, i went to Bedok Inter and bought chocolates
and a drink for myself. Hehe. I can't survive without eating it :) and mum showed
me ferrero rocher after i got back home -.- /how glum is that. But she didn't give
me the choc, alamak! Kay lorh, i dun mind :]

ok, why am i feeling so freaking awkward here?????????????????????
i wish we can talk ='(

2010-07-05T08:56:00.002+08:00

Forgiveness and Love :)

I got nothing to say actually but yeah, tomorrow will be N'Level Oral, omfgosh.
Good Luck peoples, huhu. I hope i am not nervous. Okay, today is Monday and
i got tuition later at 4.30pm with Hawa. Homework haven't do, alamak! Tsktsk

2010-07-02T21:57:00.006+08:00

Yo, im back :D Its Friday and i love the weather despite hating the subjects for
today. It was such a very very long day for me. I went home almost at seven in
the evening. Was shocked to see sister at home. Usually, i don't get to see her..
Yeah, like that.

Uh, back. Been going home late. School ends at 4pm but, i decided to go home
at 6pm due to my dnt. I'm left with 15% to finish. Praying hard. Fasted for three
days this week. Prelim oral was like yesterday. I think i messed up a lot. I was
nervous, what do you expect? Haiya. Reading was alright but conversation sux!!
Haha. Okay, im so watching Eclipse tmrw with Hawa and Heikal. Tickets, don't
finish first. I need 3! Omg. And in the centre.

Okay, then after that, i'm going somewhere in the central till 9pm -.- Gundsssss
What should i wear tmrw uh? Alamakkk...

I must stop here now. Imy&ILy adil =')

2010-06-28T17:13:00.000+08:00

this is very sad. today was unlucky. almost collapse to the ground

2010-06-23T08:34:00.005+08:00

2010

2009

i miss that long curly hair i used to have ='( haish. But now, im letting it grow longer
due to the millions of split ends. Hair will grow, thats what i believe. I know you guys
prefer 2009 but i got no choice. Facts. Don't just because of a hair, i'll feel deplorable.
Noob -.- Uh yes, final week of holidaes, cherish it. Studied with Hawa and Heikal for
the blardy 5 hours at the library. Brain can crack! So yea, will be heading to Bedok
South to take crochet beanie (finally) weeeeeeee, so happy! Toodles -.-

2010-06-22T19:52:00.003+08:00

this was sec two.

There it goes, pity this blog. A lot of dust around -.- Been a while since
i last update it. Sorry peoples, im not that active.

2010-06-22T19:46:00.000+08:00

and of course Fafa :D

i miss them a lot ='(( hope this friday they will make it.

2010-05-25T20:00:00.002+08:00

This was last year's picture :) missing my long hair. Patience.

2010-05-07T19:03:00.005+08:00

Somehow, im happy for my friends who are attach, really :) especially
to that someone. All i can do is let it slide and pray the best for him :')
That's all i ever gonna do.

So, done with English and MTL paper. A little bit scared about English.
Swear it was tough -.- At least a score of 40/80 would make my heart
at ease, O.O

I am going to make a chocolate cake tmrw :) For mother's day plus
celebrating dad's birthday too :D nyahaha! So, mum is working but
i got no choice but to lie to dad that the cake is for my friend, haha!

2010-05-02T18:50:00.005+08:00

Heyy, im back but just for the mean of time. This is because i miss this blog
and feeling to update. Anw, life was alright but lucky enough the confliction
has ended. Thank god! Okay, im blank. But there's millions of things in my
mind, sheesh -.- Err, what should i elaborate? Hmmm, Mid's is next week
and im half on the way studying Geog. I guess, i have to go now. Ive notink
to say yknowww, yeahhh. Okayy byeeeeeee

2010-03-17T19:20:00.003+08:00

hey, im gonna miss this blog a lot more than any of my blog. ive been
glueing my eyes and hand of writing and seeing since i was a lil kiddo
in sec one. but now i'm a small girl with a big heart has to leave this
beautiful blog of mine. I am not leaving forever but you won't see me
update like i used too merrifully and morosefully. Pictures, quotes,
here and there, yeah. Leave it with a smile. I do have a facebook and
msn. Its all at the right hand side, facing the lappy. So, anything
update me at there =') *weeping*

To the georgous and handsome princesses and prince, thank you
for reading my blog for all this while. Sending me a kind message
at tagboard is all i needed. Thankyou.

2010-03-13T21:02:00.005+08:00

You took my hand
Remember you told me it would be okay
I trusted you to hold my heart
But fate is pulling me away from you

'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

Yeap, thats me yo :) Just a pretty random picture that was
taken just now at Changi Airport yeah :) Boredom strikes!!

Cool right? I find it amazing yknow xD hahas. That's Siti Hawa :)

Just now, went to d&t class for a short meetup then off to meet Hawa's
bf outside school and went to eat at S99 rather thannn Simei which we
rejected earlier when Mardeyah said about the food court. Because we
know the reason why we rejected. Simple one.

After Hawa ate, buy stationeries & off to airport & departure :) boohoo,
fat hope uyh. Dalam mimpi ajek ^^ lols. Nahh, we went there to study:)
and homework. Plenty of them. Heikal brought his lappy along. So yea.
KedebakGedebukk, went home at 7pm. Went out again to eat with fam.
How daring sister went for shopping. Chehhh, chill chill. Im sooo getting
the creative earpiece. Faggots! Im not going anywhere tomorrow. Don't
ask me out because im not willing too. I need a rest at home. There will
be remedial[s] on Monday and Wednesday. Die =.= //Apology.

friends since year zero seven =')

Oh yeah, i manage to pull it through. If you are reading this, then good :)
Im starting to forget about you bit by bit with my very own motivational
strength.

2010-03-12T19:47:00.004+08:00

Im back again. Lets rewind back. Monday, had Sports Heats =) and made it to the
finals with Iraah all. 2nd&3rd respectively. I grinned because i used to be a sucker
for running, really. But ,eventhough i lost for the finals, i should be glad bcause at
least i helped Alpine to run. And yes, Alpine won with the greatest shock. Thought
that Alpine would lost as Atlas will stepped upO.o But Mr Gabriel told us that it is
because of the participation that made Alpine won. Hmm, ohkay.. fine.

Sadly, Iraah was badly sicked on that day itself. Do get well soon alright? We miss
you a lot but still, your presence still lingers around us in school. Come back soon

After the whole thing, went for our lunch nearby with half Dopes&Dolts aye? Pissed
off with the dopey auntie. Superb sarcastic towards us. She should be fired =.= tskk.

Lets talk about Friday. Im exshausted, very very. Came back home after CCA. Will
be having BBQ next Friday. Ohyeah beybeh, next week holiday but 3days remedial,
i think. Tmrw have to come back school for D&T at 10am to 11am and off to airport
with the rest including Hawaa to study. T3, i think/ MacD, idk =.=

So yeah, im still having leg cramp. And head is spinning mannn.. Weather nowadays
are sooooooo..... *speechless* hot&cold. Rain, Sun, Rain, Sun. Cam mana tak sakett?
Haiyodeyhhh.

kk, tengah stress

2010-03-07T19:47:00.003+08:00

thank you for saving my life from getting into together with the ants in this
world. thank god. now i know which pace i should go. the picture is random
other than that, i miss someone. he's far from here and he's in the different
world. My late grandpa ='( im sure mom and the rest miss him. When i look
at external grandparents, it reminds me of mine (brain freeze) this is so the
moroseful. I wish he was still here ='( and now, i agnised that i don't have d
time to see grandmum, almost everyday. Same goes to sister. Im just waitin
for April to come because that's when the cca ended for us and home early:)

but, i still miss them.

oh hey, tmrw's sports heatss. shyt .___. all the best. so, no remedial tmrw:)
yayness.

2010-03-07T12:58:00.003+08:00

you know what, i'll walk away and leave it with a smile =')
love doesn't have to hurt, to feel good.

2010-03-05T20:26:00.007+08:00

School was soo peace because sec two and three were gone for
their camp from wednesday to friday. Bus was quarter empty.
woahh, haha. canteen was empty too.

Day 2 , IP week
EAST COAST PARK :D

Day 3 , IP week
SCIENCE CENTRE :D

Day Five , IP week.
UNIVERSAL WORLD :D

Let the picture do the talking :) Im lazy to type and im off to sleep soon, hooray!

Day 1&4, IP week in school. First day was Mock Test&4th, DNT course work =D

2010-03-02T19:33:00.005+08:00

I don’t know where you’ve been
But nothing’s making sense,
I’m standing on this fence for you
And even when you’re here, somehow you disappear
If I can read your mind, I’d know just what to do
Some days I feel it then I feel it’s over
Some days were harder then some days were colder
When you open up, our love is alive
And now you’re quiet and I’m dying inside

Im speaking this from the bottom of my heart. You see, when you're gone,
i thought to myself that i could move on without you. I agnised i will but, it
just takes time for me. And i realised that i still love you after you're outta
from my life. My life means nothing without love. You know what i mean?
Not just a love from your families or friends. Its common in life. Not an ass
desperado but this is what i feel. Everybody needs love right? Everyday, i
always speaks your name, inside me. I thought back the memories and the
first time we met, it was beautiful. But things came crashing down&major,
its my fault but i don't deserve to be treated like this. Where is the love??.

After months of trying to leave behind the memors, its, impossible to me.
Yeah i know. Nothing is impossible. But for love, its different. We sacrifice
right? Fight for this love. Can you see how much you mean to me?? Your
sweet love is what i needed, your priceless to me like a precious gem that
you don't want to lose. Once you lose it, its rocklike to find a person like u.

hanya engkau yang ku masih sayangi.

Blissful 550 posts at my bloggy :: Amazing.

2010-03-01T20:50:00.005+08:00

I just went home from bedok reservoir, jogging with Sara. Exshausted, dehydrated
after running just half for today compared to d last two days on Saturday which we
ran the whole reservoir for less than half an hour, awesome. Breathing was out of
control and waist hurts but credits to the song which makes us have the motive to
run continuously.

Let me tell you, on Saturday when we run, it was sunny, sweating like an oink oink.
No offence but facts :) I didn't concentrate much on the view but songs. Ahh truee!
But today, yes no songs for me and Sara but just view. Splendid. The wind was wow!
Like something push u from the back, nyahaha! It was 1830 when Sara(B) called me
up and tag along to go jogging, again. And i said yes since im bored@home. Lessons
will be suspended for this week due to IPW, cool. Tmrw picnic! Yayness!! Just .......
waiting for Friday :] it will be more 'divine' as we will be going.. SENTOSA! woohoo!
No cca this week. But cheerleading practice will be on till next week. Apology IF i..
don't have the quality time to communicate with you guys. Just have to bare for the
whole one week and the half.

Ohya, on Saturday, before i went back school, i went to bugis to buy skirt and rushed
to school to meet Natasha and Kak Rika. And there it goes till around 4pm. Reached,
changed & went for jogging with Sara like what i told just now. Jog the whole round
wahhh... My face was like the color of blood=red. My leg was burning. Hahaa, Had a
fun 2days jogging with Sara(B) and just now, we went up to the hill and sat, pictures
and rested for a while. Oh god, its like heaven up there :) *butterflies everywhere*:D
It was so breezy. Maybee i should go there sometime, when i need a time out to set
my life at ease. haha// OHGOSH, i still could feel the pain at my vein, haish.

Please don't say i don't have a life on Sunday because i did went out all alone to
Tampines and to Plaza Singapure. You might think i'm dopey or insane why this
girl go out alone till PS. But it doesn't matter for me because i know, im still not
in a stable condition yet and somehow, i need the opportunity to go out alone &
take a fresh air. I'm just having allay revolving around me and actually, i'm not
feeling good for these few days but just haf to keep the smiles on my face. Gosh,
everythings like falling apart! WHimmER!!

2010-02-27T09:03:00.002+08:00

Its 0943am, ohman, im dead bored but will heading Tampines later for a while
then back to school in the afternoon. Some practice going on :) Oh yeah, see tat
picture above? ^^ Isn't it cherubic????!! awwwwwhh, hehe. Gosh, im hungry!!

2010-02-26T20:55:00.004+08:00

Oh, hello. School was like nothing for today. Many teachers were out for course which
includes my malay teacher. Ohmann. Dead bored. Did passed physics test for the very
first time, sheesh. Weird huh?? But, it was an effort, thank god. Had Dnt after recess.

Just left me, choo, hawa, mr ramly, maggie, jiaqi, mardhiah and divi was inside class
while the rest went to den and print stuffs. Slacked for the whole 180 minutesxzz by
listening to songs&drama, Korean onesxz from Hawa's phone. I was being like some
abnormal person at that time. So, i did told Hawaa about the alien thing that makes
me wanna laugh every time thinking about that. Crazy enough. So pathetic. Had cca
after school, then went to TM with Natasha to search for stuffs=> homesweethome!

I miss you, infact, A LOT MORE than you do my dear. You don't know how much
i wanted to be with you and how much je vous aime toujours. Bigger than anytink
else in this world. All im thinking is you and nothing else. I wish you know this :'(

you belong to me.

2010-02-24T20:43:00.004+08:00

I got like less than 20minutes to update this bloggy before lappy is out of battery.
Just being lazy to charge it ^^ Anw, im down with flu everynight. Sheesh.

Math test was tough but physics was awesome :) for the first time i said that okay.
Tomorrow will be Geography. Still studying. Memorizing the points. And yeah, Ms
Tan gave 'us' a support and motivation :D awww, thanks :) it was touching indeed!
Gooopowerr! Tmrw PE :) and later afternoon, Sports Heats at Bedok Stadium and
then, continuation of cheerleading practice at there too. Ohh -.-

Please remind me to do malay homework , heh heh ^^ Ohya, for sure you guys
realised that time past fast =DD Soon its going to be March and lessons will be
suspended for the whole week. Guess what GUEss Whatt????!!!! Will be going
SENTOSAAAAAA next Friday. Awesomeeeeee :D ECP, Science Centre and more
and also, Math Mock Examm O.O ohhh..

Im darn tired yeah. I keep having bad dreams every night/morning and wakeup
in a sudden at around 4am. It was thrilling. Oh goshhh. And my cat accidentally
scratch my hand using his sharp claws while i was studying =.= bleed.

okay, bye.

2010-02-23T19:42:00.003+08:00

Creeping me out. Sports day heats in two days time. Oh man. Should have gone
practice with the rest. Haha but its just that one thing, i don't have track shoes:)
Awesome. Spare me one can? im sized 36/5. Small feet :D hahaa!! Kidding. Any
shoes will do provided that its not big... Running for 100m and 200m -.- and as
pernormal, cheerleading. Woohoo, cool.. and all the best :)

GO ALPINE! :)

Im tired and nowadays, i wokeup at almost 6am and went out at 0640. Took bus
the same as Fira. Met the rest in school. Standard place. And assemblee :) House
meeting was making me like krookkrook, haha. Chem test was hard.

i wonder when can i have a talk with you outside... haishh. there's a lot of
things to say but scared that i'll be speechless when confronting with you.

2010-02-22T20:15:00.007+08:00

today seems like a judgement day for us.

Im very exhausted and i don't have the strength which i don't know why. I
feel like collapsing every time i stand up because that's when the part i will
always be giddy. It took me about 10 seconds for the dizzy to go away ='( I
almost fainted i swear. Its not the first time, it was long ago it happend yea.
And i found out, i got a low blood pressure. I remembered taking my blood
test. Before that, Dr takes my blood pressure and it was very low. Anw, its
okay, im still moving on with life. Blood doesn't flow inside my brain, that's
why, hees.

Orthostic Hypotension is killing me everytime i stand up -.-

i wish i could lay down at a greeny place and face the light blue sky
and set my life at ease at there. soon :)

2010-02-21T19:22:00.007+08:00

Santau was awesome and thrilling. Everyone was in a shock, i guess :) while
half of it, i took vids of their expression. Will upload it soon alright? We were
at Kila's crib yesterday afternoon together with the owner, nenek, Irah, Min,
Shaza, Nana and Zeze :) Probly, it ended at around 6plus? Lets express our
gratitude to nenek for the movie fun :) Yayness babes.

Bought for sister her bbt, myself. Shaf too :) Shaf headed home while me,
nana and zeze went to MacD to accompany them to have their bite. Had a
laughter together :) Then went home. I walked home instead of taking the
bus. I was walking wen this anonymous stranger was talking like an alien
means, too fast for me to understand. I gave the 'what face' ^^ haha.

That night, i did ALL my homework including my remedial ones. I was darn
sleepy that i shouted "ARRGGHHH, im so sleepyyy -.-" One of the show that
really caught my eyes was some malay drama which is really morose. Almost
cried. About two child and a mother. The father died because of sickness but
everytime the wife wants 2 beatup the son, the wife always thought of her late
husband's message not to physically beat the child up. It was really touching.

So, when im at bed at around 11pm, lucky enough sister was in the room :D
because i was feeling scared. Yeah. But it was a disaster, i woke up at 4am&
it was so hard for me to sleep. So i kept thinking beautiful stuffs and there i
fell asleep.

Today, i don't know whats the reason for me being feebly. Like scared yknow.
Was shivering and i swear the morning wasn't making me calm. I wokeup at
0830 and parents were out. Watched teevee and i realised that time past fast
for today. It was making me worried because i wasn't in a mood to study ='((
Sad much. For the whole morning, my heart was breaking, sobb.

Somehow, i cried for a reason. But im still finding the reason why. I was way
too down and i force myself to stand up and be happy. Let the pain be behind
me but not in front. Its all because of you that ive been thinking lately :( But
hey, i guess there's no use loving you because you yourself do not know that.
It was just my imagination. I want you to agnised that je vous aime tonjours.
Find the meaning. Its like impossible to you, i perhaps.
Its just a remembrance.
hanya kenangan yang tinggal.

memories.

2010-02-19T18:40:00.005+08:00

WE MISS YOU GEETHA ='((
Im feeling deplorable because dearest Geetha has been admitted to the hospital.
I get to know it when Ben sended me the message last night. Oh gosh, this is soo
making me or even us worried and sad about her condition. Geetha was sick and
i forgotten what was the sickness and yes, imissher ='(( I cried during circle time
as Mrs Toh told about the news. All was inside my head was, imissher calling me
'small girl' whenever she's around ='((( she never failed to say Hello to me when
we always bumped into each other every morning at the bustop , sobbbb. I still
remember, we sat beside each other for chemistry when it was back to the past
at level three. She always cheer people up, sincerely.... Judging her, Geetha is a
very nice person with a golden heart. I hope, she will for all time be strong. 412
still needs her ='( Without her, we are incomplete.

Oh god, imissher alot so does 412 ='( even she was not with us just now for the game,
her presence still lingers around us :( We will pray for you dearest Geetha. Hope u'll
getwellsoon. Ofcourse, i still remember wen u came to Hougang Stadium and waited
for me and Iraah to finish our training at there till night. You are suchhhh...an Angel
Geetha ='( , huhu.

2010-02-18T18:54:00.004+08:00

Im gonna save up my money till at least May/June. Sooooo going for digital perm which
sis ask me to go, at Eastpoint -.- probly cos nearly 200bucks. Woah. But, for the good
yeah. How badly i want my long hair back. Sheesh. Like some desperate ^^